"...nothing else matters..."

Of course, the trickiest thing about this "writing a post a day" malarkey is that some days I'll not really have a clue what to write. Yes, I have a list of things that I could write about, but I'm not really inspired by any of them right now at this moment. And in any case, there is another thing I need to write that's somewhat more important, and unlike the daily stuff I write on here it'll get more than one draft, and it'll make a lot more sense - hopefully - than many of the things here. 

You see, today I am somewhat uninspired. I have an urge to write something, but no real notion of anything to actually write. And, given that I need to put something here that's really a bit of a problem. Now, you might be thinking here "hang on a minute; what's the fool wittering on about; he's clearly writing something." But, no... this is just a load of old waffle. 

And, again some might say that hey... no change there, then, but at least the other waffle had a purpose. This is me putting one word after the other and hoping they make sense. I guess that's true of all writing; it's one word after the other, each hoping to make some sense when read in order. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't, and it's often when there's a bit of distance between what you've written and when you go back and read it that you can adequately judge whether it's any good or not.

Yesterday, I went back to reading a bit of a story I'd written a few months ago. It's really just a single scene that is a snapshot of one of the characters. Re-reading it there were several places I really winced at the poor phrasing, and instantly thought "oooh, no, that's gotta change". But then there were moments in it that made me think "yeah... that's spot on!" So, I changed a few bits, and left some as it was and ended up with a scene that's a bit better than it was.  Really, I've no idea how it fits in to the overall scheme of things, or even if it'll even end up in the finished thing, but it does help to give me a handle on this character. Oooh, people will hate him. And rightly so.

Whether this is the right way to write, I don't know; getting a great moment, writing it, and then working out how that scene fits in to the greater picture. I do keep doing this. There's another story for which pretty much all I've written is one scene (well, there's a few other bits and bobs, but this scene is about 75% of what's written). This one I know will end up in the finished thing, as it's a pivotal moment; if you're talking classic three act structure it's the bit at the end of act 1. And for this one I'm pretty sure I have at least half the thing mapped out in my mind. Although I've no idea where it ends, there's several possible ways, but the way I see it the more I write of this one, the more of an idea of how to end it. The characters... ah, they're coming to life in my head a bit more, I'm starting to understand them and how they'd react, and when they'd be sensible, and when they'd do daft silly things, and when they're put through the wringer, and... oh, it is exciting. I'll probably change my mind several times how it ends, but when the time comes I'll know it's right... 

Now, enough of this waffle, which I think eventually found a point, I've got other things to write...

"...and you know what I mean..."

So, it's the 17th day of the year, and the 17th post of the year. I guess there'll come a day when I miss a day, but I've no idea when this will be. I do worry, though, that if I miss a day I'll lose the impetus of writing posts.

You only have to look at my previous blogging history to see how infrequently I posted before. I'd always meant to blog more often, but other things got in the way; life has a habit of doing that. I mean, 17 posts this year so far. And then before that 17 posts in the whole of 2011, 2012, and 2013 put together. But during much of that time I did have rather more important things to deal with. Life getting in the way...

And I guess keeping on slogging away with the blogging will only mean that the quality of this toss will get better; unlike some other stuff I write these posts are, mostly, just splurged straight from my brain to the screen. There's usually some editing done, but only minor stuff. Occasionally, as well, I'll get a good way in to writing a post and think it a load of tosh. Yesterday's brief Twin Peaks blog was the second thing I post I wrote; the first about how I came to stop watching 24 was almost completed before I decided it was a pile of piffle and needed replacing. 

I guess some of you reading this will think that this post should have served the same fate... but like I say, these posts are just the odd splurges of my brain worming their way on the the screen, and not anything that's pored over to ensure that every word is correct. 

Other stuff, the stuff I'm not posting daily, the stories mostly aren't like this. I pore over them, trying to make sure that they've not only got the correct words, but that every one means what I want it to mean. Oh, the sentences I've rewritten a dozen times. The single scenes taking days, nay, weeks to get right. It's torture. Maybe I should take the same approach with these; just splurge it all out, leave it, and then edit. But I find it hard to let something lie with elements I dislike. I don't mind if, well... when, these posts are imperfect, but the stories... they gotta be spot on. 

'Cos when they're finished they gotta be perfect... 

...now, back to the cafe, and that scene. 

And no... no spoilers. 

"...I sometimes feel I'm sweeping the nation..."

Just looking at this blog, I realise I've not updated in almost two months. I managed to go the whole of July without typing a word. I mean, it's not like the time since June 10th has been uneventful; it's been packed. New baby. New job. New Dr Who costume. Teasers for the last Season of Lost. It's not like I've had nothing to write about. Odd.

Other things I've not written include any kind of fiction. I keep on trying to start, but end up failing. I seem to be as productive as Douglas Adams (early 80s on) only I don't have a publisher to lock me in a hotel room and refuse to let me out until I've written something. I'm not even sure that would work. It's not like I don't have ideas. I do. But it's the whole process of taking those ideas, those vague character notions, the stories (I hesitate to use the word "plot"), and weaving it all together in to at something at least bearing a slight passing resemblance to a coherent whole.

Now, reading back through this blog post; it's not that bad. I'm churning it out at a fair old pace, it's largely (typos, and the odd change of word) unaltered. It's not like I've been moving around sentences, changing paragraph structure, or indeed really doing much more than just typing the first thing to come in to my head. But it's working. Well, in as much as this is just meant to be a throwaway blog post that'll be the electronic equivalent of chip-paper tomorrow. Heck, with the speed the web moves it'll probably achieve that status in an hour or so.

So, why, when I have a screen in front of me in which to type fiction, do I freeze? Unable to commit to putting a word down in front of me. Even though, pinned to the top of the monitor is a quote from Paul Cornell reading;

"Don't agonise about what you're going to write. Have an idea. Write it. It will be bad. Then you re-write until it's good."

It's brilliant advice. Concise. Clear. To the point. Yet, I cannot get around to writing anything. From memory, my total finished fiction output since starting to attempt to write things properly amounts to four short stories, and really only one of them is any good. 25%. Not a bad hit rate, really. Oh, there's loads of fragments, starts of things, things that go nowhere. Some of these fragments are even quite good. But, rightly, no-one cares for fragments; they care for the whole. 

I really, really, must get on with at least one of the ideas. So, I've been listing them in my notebook (that's olde worlde pen and paper notebook; not a 'puter), in the hope that something will spark off. Other ideas, and notions. I'll get there in the end. Sooner, or later. 

Probably later...