"...you eat your cutlery instead of your food..."

Now, I'm not the most fashionable of types, but as the weather hots up yet again I see the same sort of things going on whilst walking around town. So, here are some fashion tips that, frankly, if I notice should be blimmin' obvious to all... yet, somehow they are not...

Ladies; if you want to wear a pair of those shorts that are cut in such a way they show of the lower part of your bottom don't pull them down over said bottom every few seconds. After you've taken a couple of steps they'll rise up, and you'll be pulling them down again. I would humbly suggest if you don't want any part of your bottom to show, you should not wear such shorts. Shorts which offer proper bottom coverage are widely available. (See also; short skirts. If you're spending all your time pulling down your skirt; it's too short for you. Wear a longer skirt.)

Gents; sandles with sock are never acceptable. Ever. Wear one or the other, but not both. Even sandals with really horrible toenails are better than sandals with socks. If you are so attached to your socks that you must wear them; wear them with shoes. 

Ladies; if you are wearing those leggings that are so thin they're indistinguishable from tights, be aware that everyone can see your knickers. Everyone. At least make sure said knickers are complementary to the colour of your leggings. Wearing white leggings with (for example) neon pink knickers only goes to alert the world to the fact you're wearing neon pink knickers. Oh, and unless you tuck them in we can also see the labels on your knickers. 

Gents; whilst walking around town, wear a shirt (or at least a vest; you'll look like Bruce Willis, at least!). You may like to show off your six pack, although it's often more a keg, but we really don't need to see it. 

Ladies; if you are wearing clothing with writing on it, expect it to be read. The sole purpose of a  piece of writing is for it to be read; even if said writing is a single word, or a short phrase, printed across your t-shirt. No, chances are we are not looking at your boobies; we're reading the words on your t-shirt that happen to be written across your boobies. If you do not wish people to look at the words on your clothing, don't wear clothing with words on it,. 

Gents; the waist band of your trousers should be positioned in such a manner it is above your buttocks. Wearing your trousers halfway down your arse makes it look like you can't find clothes that can fit you, and makes you look a fool. At the most, a glimpse of the waistband of your pants above your trousers is acceptable; any more is not. 

Ah... now I know how Gok Wan feels...! :)